2 Questions

I've been getting two popular questions lately, so I'd like to address them here.

#1) Is Jake gone yet?/Is Jake still here?
and
#2) How is Asher handling his daddy being gone?

So, diving in...

#1) Is Jake gone yet?/Is Jake still here?
Answer: Yes and no, is my favorite way to answer this question. Since May 10, he's been on orders and is spending Monday-Friday full time in Des Moines. He does get to come home on weekends (when he doesn't have drill). However, this month he has Annual Training...basically all month long. Therefore, we will not see him again until July. Again, as far as I know, this will be limited to weekends when he doesn't have drill (and yes, I do think it's insane that they still have drill weekends...aren't you sucking the life out of my husband almost 24 hours a day already?!) It is estimated that he will be "deploying" at the end of July/beginning of August. So...as it stands, the answer is still yes and no.

And on this topic...it has been a bit difficult to be in our routine during the week without daddy and then have him return on the weekends. Not that I don't live for and love those weekends...but when I'm the only adult making decisions for the two of us, when my dear husband comes home it's difficult to yield and allow him to make some of those decisions. It seems I've been "overruling" him on a lot of things...heck...I probably do that anyway, but it's been very apparent that this behavior is coming out more when he is so absent during the week and so present during the weekends. For example, one evening Jake was giving Asher a bath & he told him it was time to get out and get ready for bed. Asher began throwing a fit, as he wanted to remain in the tub. The bath was a bit hurried...and we had no timetable that he needed to get out, and so Asher playing a bit longer didn't seem like a big deal to me. Unthinking, I asked, "Why can't he stay in and play a little longer?" And just like that, I had "overruled" my husband...which was pretty disrespectful of me. Jake mentioned aloud that he had been "overruled" again, and Asher piped up, saying, "That's the way it is, daddy!" Jake and I both looked at each other with wide eyes.

#2)How is Asher handling his daddy being gone?
Answer: I am not sure what he understands and what he doesn't. Kids have a weird sense of time...and with the coming and going on weekends, I don't really know what Asher thinks.

I do know that when he asks where daddy is, that I tell him that daddy is at work. This is very true, as Jake has been doing nothing BUT work it seems when he is away! Asher and I keep to our weekly routine and it seems to be working well. However, bedtime has become a bit of a struggle. The 2 story limit has been pushed. We end up singing a few more songs and reading a few more stories. We have to ensure that all blankies are accounted for. And then there is the new request of wanting to go to sleep in mommy & daddy's bed, which is promptly met with a "no." Or the waking up multiple times each week in the middle of the night crying. Upon entering his room, we used to be able to soothe him by laying down with him in his race car bed, and then quietly sneaking back out when fell back asleep. This week he's woken up 3 out of 4 nights and cried that he wants to come into our bed. At 1:30 AM, I'm not in the mood to argue with a two year old. Last night he even said in the middle of the dark, "Daddy's at work..." "Yes, daddy's at work...." I replied. It just breaks my heart.

So, Asher obviously understands that something is different and that daddy is not around as much. I don't know what will happen when we aren't getting these little weekend respites with daddy home. I don't know, as Asher grows and develops this year what he will know or think about Jake being away. I hope that through videos and technology that we will be able to keep better connected this time by being able to see each other, as well as hear each other.
~Emily