Game face...

Tonight I had my last Skype session with Emily before heading to Afghanistan. It was a bittersweet set of moments (connection problems) to be able to see her, hear her, but not hold her and be able to kiss the tears from her face.

These last 2.5 months have been difficult, but there has always been the opportunity for either one of us to send the other a text at anytime and know that other person is going to receive it in short order...that is all about to change very dramatically very shortly. I have no idea what my work cycle will be, I have no idea of what availability I might have once I get to Afghanistan or what my availability should be...and it kills me, physically hurts to have to say that.

This is harder this time because there is probably a better chance for me to be able to communicate home, but everytime I do, it will take my mind from the mission at hand. I am responsible for keeping soldiers alive by doing what it is that I am supposed to be doing. So far I have been able to easily put my mind in two different places at the same time...that is no longer going to be possible. I will have to be completely focused on my job, my mission and my men down range and outside the wire. If I fail, if I falter in any way, people die...very simple. I am not going to be able to simply pick up my cell phone and either send my wife a text or call her just to see how her day is going. The adjustment is going to be difficult for sure...just don't know who it is going to be harder for.

I apologize for this post kind of bouncing between topics, but my mind is racing at a couple hundred miles an hour in several directions. I am not anxious, scared, worried, etc about this mission yet...and it's not because I am some kind of super soldier - I just don't think the gravity of it has really hit yet...and when it does, I know it will hit hard.

I leave for a warzone in less than 10 hours...time to put the game face on............

~Jake