What I have learned: First 45 + days...

1. Kids grow up so fast! In just the short time that I have been gone, my son has learned so much and developed so much of the person he will become. He is able to ope his door now, comment (semi) appropriately during conversations between Em and I and become so much more perceptive than he ever was before.

2. My wife and son will be okay with me gone. This is something that I hoped for, but is not easy to swallow when the realization is made. I see what Em is able to do on her own and for herself and for Asher and I swell with pride, however there is still a tug at my heart knowing some of the things she is doing on her own are things that I used to take care of.

3. I have started to transition into the worst-case scenario mindset. What I mean is that I am prep'ing myself for the worst and have started to "compartmentalize" my mind and push the "nice" and "wholesome" things into the deep recesses of my personality so as not to show them to anyone, for if some of that were to come out, it could be perceived as weakness and exploited. The memories of my wife, son, family and friends have to stay hidden as to stay pure and untouched by what I am going to see and experience.

4. My family is truly blessed to have the people around us we do. Our family and friends have accepted what I do and have more than stepped up to the plate to help us and cover for me while I am not there. I know that my family is taken care of by other family members and friends I have left behind. It takes some of the sting out of having to load up my truck at 4 a.m. and drive off knowing there are people that I can actually trust to take care of the two people in this world I love the most.

5. That I never want to pressure my son to make the some of the same choices I have made. I know what is at stake in this fight, but I don't want him to be scared or tainted by it. I don't want him to think that I would ever expect military service from him or expect him to out do or prove anything to me. I have learned that no matter what he does, as long as he is happy and finds some kind of fulfillment in it, I will support him 1000%.

-Jake