He called.
After leaving the US on Friday and our last phone conversation at about midnight that night, he has finally called. I was actually in the shower, but I've had the phone pinned to my hip for the last 48 hours. Of COURSE he'd call when I'm in the shower!
Sweet relief. It was HIM. His voice...his laughter...his smile. I could hear his smile. It was him.
I will rest easy tonight. I will sleep in peace.
No, he is not home. No, he's not in my arms. No, I wish he was was not there.
But he called. And it was him. And he's OK. And I'll be OK. And we'll be OK.
~Emily
Monday, October 18, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Leaving...on a Jet Plane
Well, my love has been traveling all day...and he's not even gotten very far, yet.
He started out in California, 2 hours behind us time zone-wise. Originally I thought he'd be leaving early this morning. Well...I should recall that everything in the military a) never happens when you think/expect it to, b) takes a million times longer, and c) is much more involved and/or disorganized that any normal activity.
First Jake & friends took a two hour bus ride to an airfield. He didn't even know where he was headed at that point...just got on the bus when they told him to. I could NEVER be so NOT in control!
Then they sat around awhile, loaded the plane, etc. These activities pretty much took the entire day while I was at work. Sometime around 6 PM our time he was preparing to fly away in the airplane....onto New Hampshire, a 5 hour plane ride.
Just now I received a phone call from my love. He has arrived safely...still in the USA....and made his last call to me from our country. Soon he'll be boarding again and will be flying into the night sky to be in the air probably for the next 12 hours until he arrives in a European country. He still has a very long journey ahead of him. I *hope and pray* that he has reached his destination by Monday morning. Remember, once in Afghanistan, he will be 9.5 hours ahead of us. I'm exhausted (and wishing for a shower) just thinking about his journey.
I've had lots of love and support from friends and family today, and it feels good to know we are so surrounded by those who care and wish good things for us. Thank you for your prayers - both Jake and I can feel them!
~Emily
He started out in California, 2 hours behind us time zone-wise. Originally I thought he'd be leaving early this morning. Well...I should recall that everything in the military a) never happens when you think/expect it to, b) takes a million times longer, and c) is much more involved and/or disorganized that any normal activity.
First Jake & friends took a two hour bus ride to an airfield. He didn't even know where he was headed at that point...just got on the bus when they told him to. I could NEVER be so NOT in control!
Then they sat around awhile, loaded the plane, etc. These activities pretty much took the entire day while I was at work. Sometime around 6 PM our time he was preparing to fly away in the airplane....onto New Hampshire, a 5 hour plane ride.
Just now I received a phone call from my love. He has arrived safely...still in the USA....and made his last call to me from our country. Soon he'll be boarding again and will be flying into the night sky to be in the air probably for the next 12 hours until he arrives in a European country. He still has a very long journey ahead of him. I *hope and pray* that he has reached his destination by Monday morning. Remember, once in Afghanistan, he will be 9.5 hours ahead of us. I'm exhausted (and wishing for a shower) just thinking about his journey.
I've had lots of love and support from friends and family today, and it feels good to know we are so surrounded by those who care and wish good things for us. Thank you for your prayers - both Jake and I can feel them!
~Emily
Game face...
Tonight I had my last Skype session with Emily before heading to Afghanistan. It was a bittersweet set of moments (connection problems) to be able to see her, hear her, but not hold her and be able to kiss the tears from her face.
These last 2.5 months have been difficult, but there has always been the opportunity for either one of us to send the other a text at anytime and know that other person is going to receive it in short order...that is all about to change very dramatically very shortly. I have no idea what my work cycle will be, I have no idea of what availability I might have once I get to Afghanistan or what my availability should be...and it kills me, physically hurts to have to say that.
This is harder this time because there is probably a better chance for me to be able to communicate home, but everytime I do, it will take my mind from the mission at hand. I am responsible for keeping soldiers alive by doing what it is that I am supposed to be doing. So far I have been able to easily put my mind in two different places at the same time...that is no longer going to be possible. I will have to be completely focused on my job, my mission and my men down range and outside the wire. If I fail, if I falter in any way, people die...very simple. I am not going to be able to simply pick up my cell phone and either send my wife a text or call her just to see how her day is going. The adjustment is going to be difficult for sure...just don't know who it is going to be harder for.
I apologize for this post kind of bouncing between topics, but my mind is racing at a couple hundred miles an hour in several directions. I am not anxious, scared, worried, etc about this mission yet...and it's not because I am some kind of super soldier - I just don't think the gravity of it has really hit yet...and when it does, I know it will hit hard.
I leave for a warzone in less than 10 hours...time to put the game face on............
~Jake
These last 2.5 months have been difficult, but there has always been the opportunity for either one of us to send the other a text at anytime and know that other person is going to receive it in short order...that is all about to change very dramatically very shortly. I have no idea what my work cycle will be, I have no idea of what availability I might have once I get to Afghanistan or what my availability should be...and it kills me, physically hurts to have to say that.
This is harder this time because there is probably a better chance for me to be able to communicate home, but everytime I do, it will take my mind from the mission at hand. I am responsible for keeping soldiers alive by doing what it is that I am supposed to be doing. So far I have been able to easily put my mind in two different places at the same time...that is no longer going to be possible. I will have to be completely focused on my job, my mission and my men down range and outside the wire. If I fail, if I falter in any way, people die...very simple. I am not going to be able to simply pick up my cell phone and either send my wife a text or call her just to see how her day is going. The adjustment is going to be difficult for sure...just don't know who it is going to be harder for.
I apologize for this post kind of bouncing between topics, but my mind is racing at a couple hundred miles an hour in several directions. I am not anxious, scared, worried, etc about this mission yet...and it's not because I am some kind of super soldier - I just don't think the gravity of it has really hit yet...and when it does, I know it will hit hard.
I leave for a warzone in less than 10 hours...time to put the game face on............
~Jake
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
God Speaks.
I'm convinced God speaks.
I've learned we just have to quiet ourselves long enough to listen and receive his messages. And be open to however and through whomever they arrive.
For instance, the other day I got a birthday card in the mail from my dear friend Maggie, and enclosed was a special magnet that now resides on my fridge. It says:
And I get that. I know I was meant to hear that.
We've now learned that Jake will be heading to Afghanistan within the week. So yesterday, I decided to drive Jake's truck. I figured it needed to be driven, and I wanted, in some way, to feel close to him, so I gave it a whirl. Hanging from his rearview mirror is a wooden cross, and a dog tag with Joshua 1:9 on it, which says:
I've learned we just have to quiet ourselves long enough to listen and receive his messages. And be open to however and through whomever they arrive.
For instance, the other day I got a birthday card in the mail from my dear friend Maggie, and enclosed was a special magnet that now resides on my fridge. It says:
"Faith is believing that one of two things will happen," she said. "That there will be something solid for you to stand on or that you will be taught to fly."
And I get that. I know I was meant to hear that.
We've now learned that Jake will be heading to Afghanistan within the week. So yesterday, I decided to drive Jake's truck. I figured it needed to be driven, and I wanted, in some way, to feel close to him, so I gave it a whirl. Hanging from his rearview mirror is a wooden cross, and a dog tag with Joshua 1:9 on it, which says:
I command you: be firm and steadfast! Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go."
Hear ya, God...loud & clear.
Tonight I was really missing Jake. I haven't been able to recall the name of our favorite Chinese restaurant...silly, really, but I just couldn't call it to mind. When I asked him the name, he immediately said it. At least both of us haven't forgotten....
So, I stopped and got some Chinese for dinner tonight...and ate it while Asher munched on some chicken nuggets...and of course, I was hoping the fortune would have something great to say.
This is where I'm convinced that God has a great sense of humor....you know what my fortune said?!
"A need is a really strong want."
Uh...yeah. TELL.ME.ABOUT.IT. I now understand that the song Unchained Melody and the Righteous Brothers were oh, *SO* right... "I hunger for your love..." "I hunger for your touch." A need may be a really strong want, but hunger....food...that's a necessity....
~Emily
Saturday, October 9, 2010
One more step....
Well, we have just completed our "field exercise" where for the last two weeks our brigade has been evaluated on every task we may or may not be called upon to perform overseas. Everything is dirty, stinky and dusty...everything except the prayer shawl and laminated Asher hands I received just a few nights ago!
The gift was not necessarily expected by any means but did make sense when those items arrived. I probably should have chosen a different location for opening the box and seeing everything in it than I did (I was right in the middle of my work tent!) due to the fact that the big, burly grizzly bear had to get up and leave the tent for a moment to compose myself when I received those gifts! It was very powerful to have those tangible items to remind me of Emily, Asher and home.
Things in the field went ok, though no matter what the final evaluation will be (we - my group - finds out tomorrow), I always feel like there is more that I could have done or should have done. From the sounds of things right now, my section did a good job and may be a little ahead of most active component units that have not delpoyed in the last 1 1/2 years with the mission I have. That part makes me feel ok about going forward with the people I have around me and will be working with.
Things here in California are slowly winding down with our groups leaving and sleeping tents having fewer and fewer people in them all the time. I can't say I am sad to have this chapter pass, however it does invoke some emotion...just not sure what exactly that emotion is just yet. I can't say for certainty that I am excited or anxious or nervous or anticipatory. I am just kind of in a holding pattern waiting for the next mission or task. I know when I finally get on the bird to fly over, my mind will start to truly "click" into full military mode and some of who I am will need to be shut down and some of who I am will have to be amp'd up. It is truly a weird thing, this experience that is "going to war." Anyway, one more step closer to the end....
~Jake
The gift was not necessarily expected by any means but did make sense when those items arrived. I probably should have chosen a different location for opening the box and seeing everything in it than I did (I was right in the middle of my work tent!) due to the fact that the big, burly grizzly bear had to get up and leave the tent for a moment to compose myself when I received those gifts! It was very powerful to have those tangible items to remind me of Emily, Asher and home.
Things in the field went ok, though no matter what the final evaluation will be (we - my group - finds out tomorrow), I always feel like there is more that I could have done or should have done. From the sounds of things right now, my section did a good job and may be a little ahead of most active component units that have not delpoyed in the last 1 1/2 years with the mission I have. That part makes me feel ok about going forward with the people I have around me and will be working with.
Things here in California are slowly winding down with our groups leaving and sleeping tents having fewer and fewer people in them all the time. I can't say I am sad to have this chapter pass, however it does invoke some emotion...just not sure what exactly that emotion is just yet. I can't say for certainty that I am excited or anxious or nervous or anticipatory. I am just kind of in a holding pattern waiting for the next mission or task. I know when I finally get on the bird to fly over, my mind will start to truly "click" into full military mode and some of who I am will need to be shut down and some of who I am will have to be amp'd up. It is truly a weird thing, this experience that is "going to war." Anyway, one more step closer to the end....
~Jake
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
(Happy) Birthday Cake Disaster
I'm hosting my bible study tomorrow night. And on Friday, it's my birthday. So, I decided I'd make myself a birthday cake to serve at bible study.
Hmmmm....well...the bundt cake decided to not "release" the cake.
Perhaps I didn't grease & flour it well enough? It's now in about 5000 little pieces.
So, in the spirit of "What would Jake do?" if he were here...he'd try to make it better. You see, this sort of thing *sort of* happened last year when I was making Asher's 2nd birthday cake...I hadn't let it cool long enough, and the cake fell apart...into a million pieces. When I screamed, Jake dutifully came up from the basement, looked into the recycle bin so he'd know what I was attempting to make, ran to the store, and came back with 2 replacement boxes. *SIGH* See why I'm so lucky?!
Tonight I had already bothered my best sister ever for 2 cups of sugar, since I had of course, just been at the grocery store and didn't realize I was almost out of sugar. I'd spent over an hour on this cake...therefore, I decided the show must go on.
Hmmmm....well...the bundt cake decided to not "release" the cake.
Perhaps I didn't grease & flour it well enough? It's now in about 5000 little pieces. So, in the spirit of "What would Jake do?" if he were here...he'd try to make it better. You see, this sort of thing *sort of* happened last year when I was making Asher's 2nd birthday cake...I hadn't let it cool long enough, and the cake fell apart...into a million pieces. When I screamed, Jake dutifully came up from the basement, looked into the recycle bin so he'd know what I was attempting to make, ran to the store, and came back with 2 replacement boxes. *SIGH* See why I'm so lucky?!Tonight I had already bothered my best sister ever for 2 cups of sugar, since I had of course, just been at the grocery store and didn't realize I was almost out of sugar. I'd spent over an hour on this cake...therefore, I decided the show must go on.
So....this is what we've got. Here it is in all it's glory, with the almond icing on top.
And...this is what I'll serve. Do you think anyone will notice?
~Emily
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