SecDef visit to Bagram Airfield 2011

Back in March, the Secretary of Defense, the Honorable Dr Robert Gates, visited Bagram Airfield. It was a very big to do, just like when the President came early in our deployment, and there were many security measures that were taken during his visit.

One of the measures that needed to be taken and enforced, was the clearing of all weapons before entering into the dining facility (or defac) that he would be having lunch at with some selected soldiers. Well, since our task force is the battle space owner (or BSO) for Bagram Airfield, we were tasked with providing the personnel to conduct said checks on said weapons. Now, before I get too "deep in the weeds" on this posting, there are members from ALL the branches of the military and many different agencies represented here that are issued weapons...and for right now, I am going to pick on the Air Force.

When a soldier is issued a weapon and before we are deployed, we have to go through weapon familiarization and qualification...we also have that weapon with us ALL THE TIME!!! We are expected to know everything about that weapon system, be able to strip it down quickly and efficiently, put it back together in the same fashion. So, that being said, one would think that the simple act of removing the weapon's magazine and ensuring the weapon was "clear" (no round in the chamber) would be very, very basic and easy...not so much.

There were several issues that contributed to the confusion, I'll grant that, but when you have someone who is barely able to get their pistol out of the holster they are carrying it in...things get interesting quickly. I was paired up with another senior NCO who has an infantry background, has been deployed previously and has a lot of common sense on this day of adventure. There were four different times that I was approached by a member of the Air Force and they simply handed me their weapon when I explained what needed to happen...THEY.HANDED.ME.THEIR.WEAPON!! They either didn't know how to remove the magazine, clear the weapon and re-holster it or were scared to do it....not sure which. The first time it happened I reacted naturally, just did it for them, didn't think much of it and handed the weapon back...by the fourth time I was in a state of absolute disbelief. Now, I have met many members of the Air Force's OSI and JTAC/TACP's...all of them squared away. When I had that many people from their branch do that - oh yeah, I made sure to point it out to them!!

While I was dealing with the people I had to deal with, my partner was dealing with his own "special cases." I am truly thankful he has really good reflexes, otherwise I might have been laying face down on a hospital bed for a little while. One of the service members he had come to his side of the entrance got so flustered with attempting to clear his weapon, that he actually CHAMBERED a round, put the weapon on FIRE and started to point it at my butt...just about the time that he would have pulled the trigger to complete the sequence, my partner slapped his hands down on the service members weapon, moved it to SAFE and extracted it from the service members hands...thankfully.

At the end of the detail, he and I were laughing so hard because the alternative would have to been so pissed off that neither one of us could have spoke. After we relayed all the details events to the Sergeant Major that was in charge of the detail our sides hurt, our eyes were wet and all the frustration was out...for that day!

Anyway, the Secretary of Defense ended up having his trip cut a little short because he decided to spend more than the allotted time at the hospital with wounded soldiers (not looked down on by any of us) and did not have lunch at the defac that day. Later in the day, the Sergeant Major stopped me on the way into the latrine and told me good job not getting my ass shot off and handed me a coin....it was a coin from Dr Gates. All the soldiers that had stood in the rain and taken all the gruff from all the people who didn't know, didn't care and didn't want to abide by what we were saying were rewarded in kind. It almost made taking a slug in the buttcheek okay...but not quite!!

~Jake

Wow - where did May go?!

As Emily pointed out in the previous post, there have been a lot of things that have happened in May...

• Bin Laden was killed...what has changed?


• Many, many nights were spent away from my desk


• Many, many nights were spent worrying about me away from my desk


• Friendships were developed and strengthened


• My awesome wife got my bike all ready for me when I get home with the help of some awesome friends


• My wife and son have endured a LOT on behalf of my following a passion

When we got word that Bin Laden had finally been found and killed, the feeling here was....like holding your breath. We had been told there were plans for "spectacular" attacks on American bases throughout Afghanistan planned for the 1st of May...but nothing ever happened. The anticipation of something like that takes more of a toll on soldiers and leaders than the actual event does sometimes. In the heat of a fight, we know what to do, we know how to do it...it is waiting for that fight that drives us mad. We fortify our positions, we prepare our courses of action, we prepare our gear and ammunition and then we are ready and waiting...and waiting and waiting. So when nothing happens, we have all of this built up.......aggression I guess that needs to be directed somewhere. This is one of the great challenges that leaders in every military have faced - what to do with your soldiers, your men that have prepared to take on the enemy in a deadly ballet of destruction but are not given that opportunity. So, when Bin Laden was killed in an awesome display of special operations prowess (hats off to the SEALS) we again thought, "this is it, this is going to trigger the big push, the big fight" and were sorely disappointed. It might be morbid or disturbed that I would actually say we were sorely disappointed but look at it from our perspective...they had hyped it up and hyped it up - it was time for them to "nut up or shut up" and we were ready for the challenge.

The first part of this month I had a chance to spend some time with a unit of guys that I have become pretty close to...Bravo Troop, 1-113 CAV. These guys are what are called cavalry scouts. They are normally given the job of being way out in front, working in small teams, collecting as much information about what the enemy is doing as possible and doing so on their own. They are the classic, "eyes and ears of the commander." They were given some of the most unforgiving terrain in our battlespace and expected to dominate it in classic fashion. Now, with some of the rules of engagement that we have to abide by, their hands were tied in many situations. To counter this, they decided, "fine, you won't let me do A and B, so we are going to do C, D, E and F." In the hostile terrain, they decided to dismount their vehicles and push into villages that no one has been to in quite some time on foot...carrying with them everything they would need. They climbed over mountains just to be able to attempt to find the enemy that lobbed rockets and mortars at their patrol base on a constant basis because their other options were limited. During my tour here, like I stated previously, I have become close with many of their NCO's (Non-commissioned Officers, the sergeants)...as a matter of fact, one of their platoon sergeants - a sergeant first class - stated after coming back in from a nice long mission set that it seemed as though I had deployed with them...because I had spent so much time with them. I will get into that in another post.

Anyway, I know that Emily worried about me everyday and every night I was out on mission. The funny thing is, I was NEVER worried with those guys. I was relaxed the entire time! Even though we didn't get much sleep, took rockets a few times, had missions that kicked our butts, it never FELT like work. It felt like....I don't know - its hard to explain...it just felt comfortable. I was in the midst of fellow combat soldiers that accepted me for what and who I was...even if I was just a dirty combat engineer! The friendships that I have cultured and now have with some of these guys have become deep...even if I have only "known" some of them for 6 months! On the other hand, some of the friendships I cherished before I deployed have become deeper and stronger as well. My friends that came down from Iowa City to get my bike, take it back up there, pamper it and prep it, then return it to the house have shown me deep, true friendship - they took something that they know means a lot to me and made it better. My friends at work have really shown my family and I that we are not forgotten and still important to them and to the job. My other close friends have gone out of their way to either help my family, send me packages and letters, send me little reminders that they are thinking about me and my family and the other soldiers here. It has truly been awesome to see the caliber of people that I am humbled to be able to call my friends.

Emily and Asher have endured everything I have since this deployment and more. Em has constantly had to be "on duty," the one parent to take care of EVERYTHING with no hand off readily available. She has had to be the disciplinarian, the comforter, the provider...everything - and she had done a good job - much better than anything I could do in like circumstances! My son has had to endure feelings he can't properly express or talk about. He doesn't know why there is anxiety in the house, he just knows that I am not there and Momma is not happy sometimes. He feels that and doesn't know how to let it out, so he acts out sometimes. He has changed daycare providers and he doesn't have the familiar surroundings and now it is sinking in...and he is scared...and there is nothing his Daddy can do about it. I am very good at looking people in the eye and saying, "no - your not going to do that" or "this is what your going to do" and enforcing that...but taking my son's fear and anxiety away I can't do because I am not there. Just hold on a little longer, Little Man, Daddy is ALMOST home - almost there to be able to quell the fear you feel, ease the anxiety you feel but can't express, wrap you in the protection of my arms...I will be home soon.

As the new month starts, I look forward to many different milestones and markers that are indicators of the impending journey home. As I reflect on this journey thus far, I am happy, angered, saddened, fulfilled, confident and many other emotions and feelings about the job we have accomplished here, the future of this country and the future of our own country. Evil never sleeps, it never rests, it never stops. In this world, evil must be faced by men and women willing to fight and die to protect our friends, families and everything we hold dear. At this point in my life, I have seen that my time standing the line is eclipsing and the next generation is stepping up...but I am not completely useless - I can impart the lessons learned, the skills acquired and knowledge gained by my experiences and the experiences of those around me. I have been very lucky to serve shoulder to shoulder with some awesome people here and I have learned from every one of them.

Its time to come home and start a new chapter in my life...one that concentrates on my family, my friends, my career, and training those that will go after me to stand the line on the cold, dark, starless nights waiting for the wolves to show themselves and face and defeat them. I'll be home soon - love you Emily and Asher!

~Jake

I'm Already There

Turns out May has been quite a busy month, as this is the first posting either of us have done & June 1 is tomorrow!

What's happened in the past month:

• Osama bin Laden was killed



• Jake has been out and about (not behind his desk!) doing secret squirrel missions



• Emily freaks out when Jake is out and about (not behind his desk!) doing secret squirrel missions



• Asher started at a new daycare



• Emily feels as if she's reached her limit (yet again) on this deployment



• Jake is able to make his mom & wife feel special on Mother's Day with some deliveries of beautiful flowers



• Emily arranged for Jake's motorcycle to be fixed up and ready to ride when he gets home, and it has been picked up, pampered, and returned home



• The weather has been cooperating at home, so lots of outdoor time, sandbox play, jogs on the bike path, which means bath time every night for the lil man



• Hotter weather, allergy season, mixed with dust, sandstorms, bad air, and more dust makes for an unpleasant "springtime" for Jake



• The first of the "replacements" for Jake's unit have begun to arrive

At this point, we are all tired of deployment. It's wearing thin on all of us. Patience in the combat zone is nonexistent...patience at home has been tested and retested....and the little man, although not privy to our adult conversations most days, has somehow felt the tension amongst both of us and has shown his fair share of "impatient" behavior as well.

Today, after work in my car, I was flipping radio stations and came across the song "I'm Already There" by Lonestar, which I haven't heard in a good 3 years at least.

Listening to the words, I couldn't help but think of my soldier, who has been away now for over a year.

"We may be a thousand miles apart, but I'll be with you wherever you are. I'm already there...take a look around...I'm the sunshine in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground, I'm the whisper in the wind, and I'll be there 'til the end. Can you feel the love that we share? Oh I'm already there...."

There have been so many moments throughout this year, that I just wish Jake had been with us...to share with us, to laugh with us, to console us....it's been very difficult to be without him, as he is a very active husband and father. Even without his physical presence, he has managed to make a lot of time for us, and we have tried to keep him in every day life with Flat Daddy, the talking story books, YouTube videos, and Skype dates. However, it's just not the same as having him really here.

Some of the things that happen without him here, I wonder if I would react differently about if he was here. For instance, Asher got into some mud in our yard the other night. It was the end of the evening, I was tired, he was tired, and it was getting to be time for bed. When he came around the corner of the house with mud on his hands, legs, shoes, and clothes, I got angry. I didn't laugh, or think it was funny. I scolded him, stripped off his clothes, and carried him into the house to get washed up. If Jake had been here, maybe we would have laughed together? Taken a few pictures? Chuckled in bed later that night whispering about what a funny kid Asher is? I've had a lot of these parenting "moments" that I'm not very proud of. Instead of laughing & tickling him, I yelled at him. Looking back, I feel guilty about how I reacted.

As I listened to the song today in the car, it just reminded me that no matter where Jake is, his heart and mind are on us, his family, even as he's doing "hard hero work." It reminded me that even when I don't think "he's here," that he really is...in the little things...my son's laughter, the dog's playful lick, the burnt dinner, the sunshine through the clouds.

Maybe instead of focusing on "one more mess to clean up," today's song was helping me to see that I need to be sure to find the fun, the laughter, the love in the little things...even the mud. And soon, he will be here.

~Emily

Paying Forward the Spark

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled
by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us.

~Albert Schweitzer

I always cringe when people, though well-meaning, say, "I don't know how you do it."

I want to say, "What other choice do I have?" but usually I just say, "I'm definitely not doing this alone."

We've had a village, this whole deployment. I'd be kidding myself to think we didn't have a village before this...from our wedding in a week over 7 years ago that was pulled off without a hitch (except the good hitching of two kids in love), to bringing home our beautiful son the week after the phone call to come meet him....we've had our "village" for many years. Lucky for us, our village has continued to grow, and we are amazed at how blessed we are to be so loved.

It's been a hard lesson to learn that it's OK to need help and take help. When I said yes to a casserole back in September, I had no idea it was going to morph into over 3 months of meals. When a friend offered to take Asher for a playdate so I could clean the day before Jake's R & R, I let her. I've been able to take some "mommy breaks" and go shopping or hang out with friends, while Asher gets to spend quality time with his grandparents, aunts & uncles. When my best friends ambushed me, though not initially on board with their plan, I cannot say enough how much their Christmas intervention boosted my spirits. In fact, the tree is STILL in the corner of our living room. And yes, I realize it is now nearly May. I have come to the conclusion that it does need to come down soon...but only because there are just a few bulbs still lit.

And speaking of lit, that's what this whole journey has been about. Those little "sparks" that have kept me going on the darkest days. Somedays it's knowing I've got a light at the end of the tunnel (Jake). Sometimes it's my little ray of sunshine on a cloudy day (Asher). Sometimes it's that steady shine of my guiding light (my parents' unending love). Sometimes it's the twinkle of laughter and silliness (my sister). Somedays it's the words to a song on K-Love reminding me that the light of the world (Jesus) is holding us in the palm of his hands.

The thing we must remember is that we've got to keep the light going...we can't let the light go out. Sometimes it's hard to keep our own light shining...and that's where others must step in to BE the light for us, or give us that spark again. My husband has been fantastic at being that spark for me through this journey. There were some very, very dark days, and his words, his love, his undying committment and unending loyalty lit me up again. I hope I've been a spark for him when he has needed it as well.

When I was first being showered with amazing dinners by Jake's caring co-workers, I felt overwhelmed. What will I do in return? How will I pay them back? Some dear friends reminded me that those folks were not doing this with the expectation of anything in return, and that that moment in time was not my moment to "pay them back." So, in every thank you note I wrote, I expressed the hope that some day I could "pay forward" the generosity that had been shown to us.

And that time has come. I was recently able to "pay forward" the gift of meals for a grieving family. With the click of a few buttons, friends and neighbors can now use TakeThemAMeal.com to assist in being a light for this family. It saddens me that a casserole won't FIX anything or heal their hearts, but as I know quite well, it CAN meet a need, and sometimes just having those daily needs met is part of the battle. I knew that if I had the capacity to share the light that I've received, that it was my responsibility to do that.

When I was in need, initially it was difficult for me to say "yes" to accepting the help, but once I wrapped my mind around the fact that this was a way that people could help and wanted to help, I allowed myself to accept that help. Sometimes when we think we know how to pass the light onto others, they may be reluctant to accept it. Offer. Let them think about it. Offer again. They'll come around, usually. If you do make an offer, follow up on it. There is nothing so hurtful as an empty promise. Simply asking them what might be helpful is another way to help. They may not know right away, but asking them shows that you care. It doesn't have to be a huge, life-changing thing that you do. It can be as simple as offering to mow their lawn or having them to your house for dinner, and then making the phone call to invite them with a firm date. Pretty simple to do, but something that may be the spark to light their way that day, that week, that month...

Who has been a spark for you? What can you do to keep the light going for others?

~Emily

Somebunny Loves You!

Hoppy Easter from Flat Daddy!

Show me the money...

As most of you know, our elected officials in federal government have failed to agree upon an operating budget for our country. If there is no agreement by midnight, 8 April 2011 (only twelve hours from the time I am writing this post), then our government will shut down. The implications of the shut down are very complex and far reaching. One of the implications is very near and dear to my heart...my pay. My pay that my family depends on to pay the car bills, the electric bills, pay the water bills, purchase groceries, put gas in Em's vehicle so she can get to work, pay for child care...the list is seriously endless.

The pay schedule for the military is similar to many private sector jobs - the first and fifteenth of very month we are paid. We are paid for the previous two weeks of work prior to the pay day. As of right now, 8 April 2011, they have already posted my pay that will be deposited on the 15th...a full 24 hours prior to the possible shut down. My net pay is less than half of what I would normally make...LESS THAN HALF of what my family depends on. The best part, if this thing isn't resolved before the 15th, one week away, then my family will not receive any money on the first of next month...none, nada, nothing, zilch. Oh, we have been promised that it will be paid retroactively, but pardon me if I seem skeptic...what the government giveth, they also taketh.

So, while the elected officials still collect their FULL PAY AND BENEFITS through all of this, the men and women tasked with fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan (and now the forces committed to Lybia) are doing so for no compensation...nothing paid to our families while we risk EVERYTHING in this place. I decided to exercise the one of the rights that I am supposed to be willing to die to defend - my right of freedom of speech. Now, as anyone in the military knows, our right to free speech only extends so far and covers only so much. So, while I will not outwardly NOT support my country and government, I WILL express my concerns for my family and their well-being. The following is the letter that I wrote to my House of Representatives member, the Honorable Bruce Braley...it is my hope that EVERYONE that reads this will do the same :

Sir,

I am contacting you in reference to the upcoming / on-going government shut down and the loss of pay for the service members of Iowa that are currently serving in Afghanistan. The hardest hit are going to be our lower enlisted soldiers, the ones that are shouldering the biggest burden and facing the greatest threat.

These young men and women are facing the enemy everyday and coming out on top...for now. They endure the hardships of 5 - 6 day missions in some of the worst terrain imaginable and are now doing it for even less pay. Although those soldiers don't have an immediate need for their income, there are families that are dependent upon it...but dependent upon the FULL pay. These young soldiers' families are living pay check to pay check as it is, and now they are going to have to sacrifice even more.

What this all means is our families are going to have to sacrifice not only time and closeness with us, but they are going to have sacrifice the every day expenses on items that are needed...diapers, food, gas, etc.

Mr. Braley, I implore you do to everything you can, work as hard as possible to make the rest of your Congressional co-workers understand that because of the budgetary issue, the men and women our government has tasked to defend our country are suffering needlessly at the hands of the greedy few that have decided the pork in many spending bills is worth more than the service members lives or the well being of their families.

With respect,
SSG Jacob Pries
Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan

I hope he listens.....

Where's My Daddy?

Deployment is hard enough.

But sometimes the words that come out of your precious child's mouth are just too much.

Yesterday morning I was trying to get Asher fed and dressed and out the door in time to make it to meet our running group on the bike path at 8 AM. Asher was playing and I was trying to get him wrangled into one spot long enough to get his entire outfit on him. At one point he headed upstairs, and I could hear him.

"Daddy? Daaaaady? Where's my Daddy?"

Talk about knife to the heart. He NEVER calls out for his Daddy like that when he's not here.

And he wasn't just playing. He was actively looking for his Daddy. He was saying, "I am sleepy. Where's my Daddy?" Unfortunately, I think he wanted to stay at home & NOT go for a jog that morning...and I kind of felt the same, too!

When I got upstairs, I found Asher crawling into our bed. He snuggled under the covers on Jake's side of the bed and laid his little head down on Jake's pillow, then pretended to snore.

I couldn't have wished his Daddy home at that moment more than I already have if I had tried!

On our run that morning, we neared the armory close to our house. It must have been a PT morning, as there were many soldiers out on the park lawn that morning. I pointed all of them out to Asher...the sun was in his eyes a bit too much for his liking, but he noticed all of the men and women in uniform there.

Today as we were driving past that same armory, the soldiers were standing along the sidewalks holding posters saying "Car Wash" and "Bake Sale," so, in need of an inside AND outside car wash, I figured I'd at least knock one out and make a donation to a good cause.

As we pulled in, Asher could see all the uniforms again and he let the female soldier at the window know, "My Daddy is in Afghanistan!" As we pulled forward and they turned on the hoses against our windows, Asher squeeled with delight. The soldiers scrubbed our windows and he and Sadie enjoyed the show from the backseat. There were soldiers in uniform surrounding our car.

"Where is my Daddy?" Asher asked again for the second time this weekend.

"Daddy's in Afghanistan, baby...these are different soldiers." *SIGH*

I can't say that seeing those uniforms doesn't make me ridiculously hopeful. Even if it's completely illogical, a uniform never ceases to make me believe that maybe, just maybe, MY soldier is there....waiting to come around the corner, or turn around from a group and have it be HIM, or scrub some suds on our window. Stupid, I know. But the mind can play such weird tricks...

Later, when we met up with my family, he let them know, "The shol-jers washed our car!"

Soon enough it'll be your Daddy, Asher...Soon, baby.

~Emily