Mailing: The How To's

It's time to talk about proper mailing procedures for care packages & letters to our favorite soldier!

Please feel free to connect with me for Jake's address. As this is a public space, we prefer not to share his exact address here.


To mail a letter to Jake: simply stamp your letter as you would within the United States. Same postage rates apply.

To mail a care package to Jake:

There are now flat rate boxes that are specific for APO or FPO addresses. I ordered 25 boxes for free, so if you are in our area and would like a box to mail a special package in, please let me know and I'll be happy to provide you with one. The boxes are 12 x 12 x 5 1/2 and they ship for $12.50, no matter what or how much you can stuff inside!


Along with your package, you will need to have a Customs Declaration and Dispatch Note, PS Form 2976-A, available at any post office location. There are instructions to fill out the 6 copy form included, but to make it simple here's the lowdown:


From: This is you! Need your name & address in the first section.

To: This is Jake! The APO addresses are kind of funky, so the best way is to just write it in as I provide it to you.


Detailed Description of Contents:
The woman at the PO told me food doesn't need to be claimed, but other items (say books, DVDs, etc.) are supposed to be claimed, including the quantity and approximate weight & value. Most care packages will not be valued at more than $20-25.


Then, you must sign your declarations form and date it. There are other sections on the form (insured amount, sender's custom reference, importers reference, HS Tariff Number, etc.), but it is my understanding you do not need to fill those out. There is a section that says, "If non-deliverable & then you can choose from

• Treat as abandoned
• Return to sender
• Redirect to Address below.

I always checked Redirect to the address below. I believe it is still OK to write Commander & then Jake's address following that (without his name) & the box will become a free-for-all for the other soldiers there. This would only happen (I believe) in the case that Jake was no longer at the base.

The US Postal Service has created a link with a lot of information regarding mailing to our troops at their website. You may view that information here. Information found by following this link includes:

• Addressing Tips
• Mailing Restrictions
• Packaging Tips
• & more!

Some items that Jake has said would be helpful for him to receive in care packages:

• "Good" toilet paper
• Baby Wipes
• Shaving Cream
• Phone Cards
• Keurig Coffee K-Cups
• Deoderant (Axe Phoenix is his preferred brand)
• Gold Bond Powder
• Paperback books (just stuff you pick up at garage sales/Friends of the Library sales are great - these get passed around!)
• Greeting cards that he can send home
• Ibuprofen
• Dayquil/Nyquil Capsules
• Febreeze
• Refresh Optive lubricant eye drops
• Snacks - Some of his favorite things are anything with peanut butter, Swedish Fish, Twizzlers, Skittles, Popcorn, & Gummy Bears. Hard candy, nuts, chips like Pringles, and mini tuna packs or beef jerky usually travel well. He loves Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.

Please feel free to leave comments here if you have other ideas of things to send!

Make sure to pack your boxes tightly. Squeeze as much as you can into a package before sealing it. Maybe give it a little test shake to see if you hear any rattling. It's helpful to seal anything that may leak inside of a Ziploc bag. Additionally, the gallon sized bags may be useful for jake on his end to reuse. Another tip that we heard last deployment was to include on the inside of the box lid a list of the "contents" of the box, so that your soldier will know if anyting is missing. Also, no need for delivery confirmation or insurance...as far as I know the "insurance" is only good while it is in the USA.

I know Jake is so appreciative of all the mail, love, and support that we have received from our family and friends. Let's blow him away with lots of "love" through the mail!

Ready, set, GO!

~Emily

The Facade

And just like that, the wall came tumbling down.

After reading Jake's last post, the reality of what's going on here hit me like a ton of bricks.

It's not that I haven't noticed him gone...but he has been gone since about mid-May, so sometimes it feels like just another day of him not around. It's not that I've gotten used to it, but somehow I've managed to "cope" and just keep going in his absence.

But today, after reading his last blog post, the awful reality of what's really happening, why we're in this position, and where he is now just weighed down heavily on me.

I know that I've been in denial about this portion of the journey. It's been a long time coming, so it felt like maybe the day would never come. Maybe my life is so much more full of things to do this deployment than last deployment, perhaps I have less time and less mental capacity to worry as much as I did before. Maybe I have a better support network or more usable coping mechanisms this time. I don't know what it is...but so far this deployment, for me, has been a lot easier to manage.

Today, though, I read his words. I know my husband...and I know his heart. I know what he's feeling...and what he said there for all to read, that is truly him.

It makes me hurt that he saw that. It makes me sad that he was a part of it. It makes me long for his arms to hug me...or maybe for my arms to be hugging him, too.

He has been a part of so many of these funerals and processions and memorials for heroes on our soil. Too many. And he has always been selfless and brave and proud to do that. But he has also felt those losses deeply. I cannot imagine what it felt like to stand there on ramp duty at Bagram and watch someone just like you, draped in the flag. But I can. I can see it through is eyes and his words. I know why he shared that, but why why does it have to be this way?

When the Twin Towers fell, I was SO naive. I didn't even know what the Twin Towers were, and I had no idea what a terrorist was. I was 20 years old. Now children hear that word on a regular basis...they know what a terrorist is, they hear about them on the news daily. It makes me sad that my son will have to know that.

So many of my hours of Jake's last deployment were consumed with worry. I couldn't just "be" in my apartment without fretting that "they" were coming to tell me he was dead. I developed an almost OCD-like response to a car door slamming: Car door slam. Check the window for the men in uniform. It was exhausting. I didn't realize until he came home how much rest I was not getting while he was gone.

And now, here we are again. He's been so reachable, so available in the States that I almost took it for granted. But now, when something happens, or I want to talk to him, I cannot just pick up my cell phone and text him. With the development of technology like Skype, we are able to connect and communicate, which has been wonderful, but again, perhaps just another way for it to feel like he is so close, when really he is a world away and in a very dangerous place, after all.

I cannot let this consume me. I cannot let this dominate my emotions and my thoughts. I have to stay focused, much like he has to remain focused on his task at hand. Still, it was difficult to watch that facade break away...Jake revealing himself to us, and for me to realize that we truly are still at war and that until I see his smiling face next to mine and hold him in my arms that I will have an empty place in my heart.

~Emily

Last night I had a particularly odd (probably not the right word, but I don't know what word really is appropriate) experience that I was proud and saddened to be a part of. Last night we said goodbye to a hero and sent him home for the final time.

There are a lot of opportunities that are available to me being stationed at Bagram...education, good food (or at least not as bad food), MWR (morale, wellness, recreation) opportunities and some interesting work opportunities...there is another detail that I hadn't thought of when I first knew I was going to be stationed here...ramp ceremony.

What the ramp ceremony is, is its a final goodbye and payment of respect for a fallen soldier, or fallen hero. Its not something that is fun, exciting or thrilling, but unfortunate and necessary. I have been a part of a lot of ceremonies, funerals, honor guards, etc for soldiers and police officers back home, but here - in this place - it is a bit different. There is a sense of...I don't know, something that is in the air and is felt by all who are there. Some take it better than others, some act different than others, but when I realized the MOS (military occupational specialty - job in the military) of the soldier, it hit home hard...he was a combat engineer like me doing a job that I have trained to do in the past and am quite confident he was every bit as capable as I am.

Seeing the flag draped coffin carried off the humvee by the pallbearers and watching the soldier being loaded into the cargo area of a C-130 for transport back to the States reminded me of the people that I knew and have lost...and of the family members of others I have been a part of burying. It serves as a solemn reminder that the fickle finger of fate can tap you on the shoulder at any time and call your number.

God speed Sapper, and peace be with your family....

~Jake

Parenting Across the Miles...

An excerpt from a recent card that Jake sent to Asher for Halloween:

I'm sorry I have to miss trick or treating this year, but I will be home soon

and next year, we'll have a lot of fun!

I love you, little man, be good for Mommy, take a nap, and eat your dinner!

Love, Daddy

I love that this man was hours away from heading to a warzone & he's writing his son things like "Be good for Mommy, take a nap, and eat your dinner!" ...three things that totally stress me out & cause Asher & I to butt heads pretty routinely.

I love that man. Thank you for being my best friend, Asher's daddy, and my partner...even thousands of miles away.

~Emily

Arrival...

Well, we have finally arrived in Afghanistan - actually we got here a few days ago, however my opportunities have been limited to get online - I'll explain.

When we arrived the first thing I thought to myself was, "Self, this place stinks!!" All the familiar smells that I thought I would never have to smell again came rushing back to me as the rear ramp of the C-17 lowered and we taxied towards our stop. The mixture of diesel fuel fumes, burning trash (mostly plastic), dust and all the waste we produce as humans was overpowering for many of the people I was with that had never been deployed. For me, it was a reminder of how dangerous this place really was the first time and could easily be again if proper precautions are not taken.

The living conditions the first few days were pretty interesting and pretty tight. We had over 80 people crammed into a "circus tent" that was probably big enough to comfortably fit 50 and had no way of keeping any of the fine, moon-dust like sand out...so needless to say everything was covered in dust!! After we figured out where we could squeeze all of our people in, we were finally given some free time to either wander around Bagram or just chill-ax...I chose to walk around.

Having been here before has afforded me a small luxury of knowing almost exactly where I am going and where I am at most times. However, since the last time I was here, things have grown and expanded immensly...like the fact that the troop levels here went from 10,000 (at most) to over 35,000 just on Bagram! I quickly found the PX (post exchange) and the coffee shop and tried to take in my surroundings. The level of activity was pretty amazing - seeing as it was not even 6 in the morning here yet!

The last few days have been busy at times (going to the range and getting some theater specific threat training) and extremely boring at others. This is going to be a deployment where I am going to have to initiate a lot of work, because I just don't think I'm gonna be that busy. Today there is a meeting and then I am going to try to find whoever it is that I am replacing and start getting my head around what it is I need to do here...

Will write again soon!!

~Jake

Relief.

He called.

After leaving the US on Friday and our last phone conversation at about midnight that night, he has finally called. I was actually in the shower, but I've had the phone pinned to my hip for the last 48 hours. Of COURSE he'd call when I'm in the shower!

Sweet relief. It was HIM. His voice...his laughter...his smile. I could hear his smile. It was him.

I will rest easy tonight. I will sleep in peace.

No, he is not home. No, he's not in my arms. No, I wish he was was not there.

But he called. And it was him. And he's OK. And I'll be OK. And we'll be OK.

~Emily

Leaving...on a Jet Plane

Well, my love has been traveling all day...and he's not even gotten very far, yet.

He started out in California, 2 hours behind us time zone-wise. Originally I thought he'd be leaving early this morning. Well...I should recall that everything in the military a) never happens when you think/expect it to, b) takes a million times longer, and c) is much more involved and/or disorganized that any normal activity.

First Jake & friends took a two hour bus ride to an airfield. He didn't even know where he was headed at that point...just got on the bus when they told him to. I could NEVER be so NOT in control!

Then they sat around awhile, loaded the plane, etc. These activities pretty much took the entire day while I was at work. Sometime around 6 PM our time he was preparing to fly away in the airplane....onto New Hampshire, a 5 hour plane ride.

Just now I received a phone call from my love. He has arrived safely...still in the USA....and made his last call to me from our country. Soon he'll be boarding again and will be flying into the night sky to be in the air probably for the next 12 hours until he arrives in a European country. He still has a very long journey ahead of him. I *hope and pray* that he has reached his destination by Monday morning. Remember, once in Afghanistan, he will be 9.5 hours ahead of us. I'm exhausted (and wishing for a shower) just thinking about his journey.

I've had lots of love and support from friends and family today, and it feels good to know we are so surrounded by those who care and wish good things for us. Thank you for your prayers - both Jake and I can feel them!

~Emily